Fifteen Perspectives

“Network network network! That’s the way you’re going to get ahead in life, and the more people you meet and make ties with, the better off you’ll be. You have to believe that you’re fighting for a good cause, that’s honestly what’s most important. But what do I honestly want the most? To be a superstar. To be eternal, immortal. Also, I just bought the cutest apron ever.”

“Oh did you really?”

“Yeah, I needed this thing. I’m gonna look so hot cooking!”

“Mamacita!” *grin*

“Anyway, so excited about dancing tonight. I’m gonna get druuunnk.”

Yesterday: “So I dunno what’s going on with this girl, it seems like she likes me, but I don’t know if I like her, or what. I mean, why doesn’t she do anything?... Man, I just want a girl, for real.”

“Any girl?”

“… Yeah.”

Today: “Dude so there’s this girl – ”

“The one from yesterday?”

“No, a different one. Anyway, I don’t know what her deal is, she stopped me and we had like a five-minute-long conversation. Does she like me? I kinda like her.”

“You should ask her out.”

“Yeah, I know… I will…?”

“Think you really like her?”

“Oh yeah.”

“I don’t know, it seems like they’re not friends with me anymore. They’re only friends with each other!”

“I hung out with them the other day and I kind of felt like the third wheel myself….”

“Yeah! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. We used to be so close, and now they’re best friends, and somehow I ended up on the periphery….”

“That’s just life I guess. I’d leave them alone and let them do their thing. What else can you do?”

“Nothing, I suppose. So… sometimes, I imagine what I’d be doing my senior year in undergrad if I were in an alternate universe. What I’d do differently. I think I’d still be a bio major, but I’d also be on the dance team. It wouldn’t be that big of a commitment, just two days.”

“… You could do it now.”

“Nah…. But you know, maybe I wouldn’t be a science person. Maybe I’d be doing English instead. Though I don’t regret going to med school, I’m still set on that.”

“Yeah… I’m thinking of working for a year, and then going to grad school… when I know what I want to do more. I dunno. I don’t really know what I want to do….”

“Grad school seems like a good life. I feel like you can really mold your life the way you want it. I know this guy who’s a grad student, he’s studying marine biology and he loves it! He’s getting certified, he’s traveling the world, he has a girlfriend (I gather), he lives nearby and he goes to the gym a lot, he has his own blog where he writes about all the exciting things he’s doing. I almost envy him sometimes. Grad school seems like it’s really worth it. You have to find something you’re passionate about. But I think it’s a really good idea.”

“Your subtle hints are not lost on me.”

“Yeah, I was a loser in high school. I hated the douchebags, and that was about two thirds of them. I just had really low self-esteem. I still kind of do, but I’m working on it. I got made fun of a lot, I had glasses and braces, and they didn’t like my viewpoints.”

“Why didn’t you ever hit them?”

“I’m a pacifist, I don’t hit. Oh, hold on, that’s my ex, I have to go pick her up, her car isn’t working, I’ll be back soon. But yeah, some of the douchebags out there, I can’t stand them, it really pisses me off.”

“Hey, can you tell your ex to wait a few minutes? We’re kind of in the middle of a conversation here.”

“Ehh… she’ll get mad, and then she’ll yell at me, and then blah blah blah… it’ll be easier if I just go pick her up.”

“So I kissed his roommate but I really like him and I just don’t know! I don’t know what to think! I’m so confused!”

“It’ll work itself out.”

“I know, but I keep thinking about it and then thinking what if I don’t really like him or what if I like the other guy and ah! But I admitted what I did and now he doesn’t know what to think and it’s like, yeah, I messed up, but I told him the truth so it wouldn’t come back to bite me.”

“I’m sick of hearing everyone’s bullshit and drama. Why am I always the guy every girl goes to to complain? And it’s always about another guy. I’m just tired of this.”

“So stop listening. Like yesterday, you didn’t have to sit there and listen to her whine.”

“Oh my God that’s all she ever does. That girl has serious problems, I’m talking serious problems. Huge emotional issues.”

“Like what?”

“…Okay. So, she broke up with the first one, then made out with that other dude, and then goes back and tells her ex she still likes him. What the hell. That girl is driving all of us crazy.”

“You still have to pick her up before we go to dinner?”

“Yeah, I better, otherwise she’ll get mad.”

“The closer I get to graduating, the less I know what I’m doing with my life. And some days, like today, everything looks so empty. The whole world is quiet. It’s like I have no connection with anyone, all of these people are complete strangers, and all my relationships from yesterday are vapor, like ships that sailed away into the sunset along the waves. I feel so alone, and I feel like there’s no point to anything I’m doing, and I can’t even muster the effort to keep up conversations with people. I never have anything interesting to say. I just don’t care. And honestly, I feel like I’m swimming in nothing but bullshit. Bullshit from everyone, that’s all I hear. I don’t want to talk about it and bring others down… but at the same time I want to. But I won’t tell anyone this, I’ll just write it in my journal.”

“Because it’s stupid, you don’t do that. No, it’s not my fault, he shouldn’t have done that! Okay, I’m a really loyal person, I always stick by my friends. And I believe you can always stay friends. I’m friends with all my ex boyfriends, because I still care about them. I still even have my teddy bear my first boyfriend won for me. I cherish things and keep them, that’s why I’m a good girlfriend, and guys are douchebags.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, pretty much all the guys I’ve dated have been douchebags. I need a good guy. And true love.”

“Don’t we all.”

“They knocked on my door in the middle of the night! Who does that?”

“Did you say anything to them?”

“I called my friend who lives down the hall and she took care of it, you know I’m not a confrontational person. But then it was so awkward for the next week whenever I passed them, like I just ignored them, you know? And then one of them left me this really bitchy note saying how I shouldn’t be so passive aggressive, and I’m not being passive aggressive! I was like, what the eff are you talking about? But it’s okay, we moved out last weekend so I never have to see them again.”

“I always wanted to be a Ph.D, I should’ve stayed in school. Instead I got married and pregnant and now look at my life! I’m stressed! Do I look stressed to you?”

“Uh… a little.”

“Ha! A little. And then I married the wrong man, too. I should’ve waited. I wasn’t very discriminate. But it’s okay. And I have a really bad relationship with my mom, and all these health problems, and my life is just kind of a mess! You know? But I’m okay, I’ll get better.”


“Did you see what Lindsay Lohan did, by the way?”

“No, what did she do?”

“She got busted for drugs, now she’s going to rehab.”


“Yeah! Isn’t that something! I think my daughter’s getting in with a bad crowd. And on top of that she’s losing her license now. I just don’t want to be dealing with all this right now. She’s twenty-four! Can you believe it?”

“I just… can’t stand the way they’re acting. They act so cutesy. It’s like, get a room.”


“And I can’t stand when she does her little cutesy helpless act. Ugh!! It bother me soo much. I just feel like she wasn’t this way in high school, you know?”
“Yeah, she was different.”

“Whatever…. Living with her… is going to be hard. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. It’s my room, I should be able to go to sleep when I want, right?”
“Yeah. ’Cause you’re paying to live there.”


“Ten PM is not a normal sleeping time! She doesn’t understand that she’s not the only one living in this room! It’s as much my room as it is hers, and half the time we’re in his room because if things don’t go exactly her way she becomes completely intolerant! I feel like a prisoner in my own room! It’s not fair.”

“It’s not, especially since you’re paying for it.”

“People are just retarded. They need to grow up. That’s why I only get along with older people, I just feel like so many people here are still stuck in high school. Like, the things they care about – it’s like, dude, you’re not twelve anymore. Grow up.”


“Like this one girl in my class, all she does is fucking copy notes. I’m taking this class to learn, I don’t want you fucking stealing my information I worked hard on. If you’re too lazy to do the work you shouldn’t be in this class.”


“I honestly don’t know how some of these people are going to make it in the real world. Like, I’ve been dealing with real people outside of the little college bubble for years, and it’s not the same. I know what I’m doing. But then again I did grow up differently.”

“So do you not want to go to the movie because you don’t think you’ll enjoy it, or because you won’t enjoy the company?”

“Well I usually go see movies to go with people.”

“Fair enough. But then the question becomes, will you regret not seeing the movie after everyone sees it and talks about it in front of you? And will you then not wish you had gone to see the movie?”

“Listen you. Stop using these circular arguments to powder my mind with bullshit. I know that at the bottom of it the only thing that matters is that I go to this movie, and the only thing that matters to me is that I do not want to be around her. I feel like crap afterwards. All you do is make yourself sound smart to cover up the real issues you care about, and it’s all a lie. This is why I don’t trust you. Because you never say what you really mean to say, you hide your agenda behind fancy words and distracting arguments, and then move in for the kill wordlessly. I’m sick of it. Be straightforward.”